I absolutely love visiting new places. The sights. The sounds. The culture. You know what I don’t love? Flying and all that comes with it. Flying while fat is overwhelmingly exhausting–not because of the travel itself–but because of the mental baggage that many of us carry, from the first moment we dream about traveling somewhere.
Standing in the aisle pretending to arrange your bag while secretly asking for a seatbelt extension. Boarding a plane, hoping that no one would sit next to you, not because you don’t like people, but because you don’t want to feel like a problem. Holding your bladder for more than 8 hours, because the thought of squeezing into a tiny airplane lavatory, getting stuck in the doorway, or feeling rushed while inside makes you want to throw up. I know. I’ve been there, and still am sometimes. If you know, you know.
These moments are rarely talked about, but they shape the entire travel experience for people living in larger bodies. The anxiety starts before the trip is even booked and lingers long after the plane has landed. And for many, it’s enough to keep them from traveling at all. This was me for a long time.
But the fact of the matter is this. Air travel wasn’t designed with all bodies in mind. It wasn’t designed for fat bodies, bodies with mobility challenges, or even bodies with extra height. However, there are ways to navigate it in such a way that gets you to your dream destinations in the most safe, comfortable, and dignified manner.
Advocate for Your Needs
Purchasing an extra seat or asking for a seatbelt extension is not a moral failure. These are safety and comfort tools, not special treatment. Flight attendants handle requests like these all the time, and you aren’t inconveniencing anyone by using them. Advocacy can look different, depending on who you are as a person. It can be quiet and calm or loud and proud. It’s about you and what makes you feel seen. Simply ask for what you need without explanation or shame. The more you practice this, the easier it will become.
Plan for Your Comfort, Not Someone Else’s Opinion
Many overweight passengers spend the entire flight worrying about how other people view them. That emotional labor is way too much to carry and completely unnecessary. Choose the aisle if that helps you feel less confined. Ask to board early if that reduces your stress (I’ve never had an airline refuse to accommodate this request). Give yourself permission to prioritize your comfort over managing that of the strangers you’ll probably never see again. In fact, most people are so wrapped up in their own lives that they don’t even notice you (or anyone else, for that matter). And so what if they give you that judgemental stare. Their opinion shouldn’t take up more than one millisecond in your brain and should NEVER cost you the joy of a meaningful travel experience.
Understand the System Without Internalizing the Shame
Recent changes to airline policies–like Southwest’s extra seat updates–have sparked outrage, much of it rooted in fear. The fear of added costs, fear of exclusion, and fear of being told “You don’t fit.” These feelings are absolutely valid, but airlines are also businesses making decisions based on logistics, safety, and of course their bottom line. Two things can be true: policies can feel hard and unfair and companies are allowed to operate in ways they believe are best.
The real issue isn’t the airline. It’s an industry that hasn’t evolved to reflect the diversity of the people it serves. Americans are getting bigger by the second, but airline seats are getting smaller. Even average sized passengers fill their seats from armrest to armrest. Some of these industry decisions just don’t make sense. But airlines’ failure to address changes in their demographic doesn’t belong on your body or in your mind.
Take the Trip Anyway
Yes, flying while fat can be uncomfortable. Yes, it costs more to purchase multiple seats. Lord knows I understand that “fat tax.” But missing out on your life is far more costly. So, book the flight(s), ask for what you need, and plan ahead so your nervous system can rest (at least a little).
Remember, travel is not reserved for smaller bodies. You deserve to see the world, collect memories and passport stamps, and experience the beauty and growth that travel affords exactly as you are today–not someday. Not after you lose the weight. After all, joy does not come with a weight limit.
